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| pretty unbelievably frustrated.
i'm finally starting to see that all i've prodigiously accumulated in the past few months is starting to slowly smolder away. maybe it was supposed to be this way...
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| Here I am, basking in the west coast for the majority of summer. Yet when things should all be right by that fact alone, there are always those unforeseen factors that balances out each coast a little. Among them...
1. A very minimalist existence at the moment. Although I am living with my relatives up in San Jose (Norcal), and their house is equipped with A/C, the family lives a painfully minimalist lifestyle.
- When I asked simply for a fan, they didn't have that either. So I had to dish out gas money and twenty dollars to buy myself a fan. Fortunately though, this fan has served me well for the two days I've had it so far.
- They have not eaten one meal outside the house.
- They have not eaten one meal that's not Chinese.
- They have not gone longer for 2 days with a dish with meat before it's all veggie day again. And not only that, it's not particularly healthy, when your lips are glazed over with oil after dinner, and you end up having to just wipe it off with your tongue or your shirt, because apparently they're not proponents of napkins either.
- I find myself trying to avoid the house on weekends, simply to avoid having to eat another all-vegetarian meal on my precious days off from work.
2. No beach. San Jose is equivalent to the valleys of LA, where the average temperature is 10 degrees higher than the beaches, where I normally reside. When I see the sunset reflected upon the window of the neighboring house (out of my room facing east), I long to sit among the rocks by the shore.
3. ISDN-like DSL. I didn't realize the superiority of cable internet until I found myself waiting 20 minutes to load a youtube video.
4. A really @#$%ing illegitimate annoying ugly abomination supposedly known as as a 3-year old girl. Apparently she screams at everything that doens't get her way, runs around the house and wails until her parents give up and submit to her demands. Supposedly she's deathly afraid of having her hair washed, so the record so far? 1.5 hours of chasing her around the house until they finally grab a hold of her and pin her down while she continues screaming and choking because she doens't understand the very thing she's afraid of that is water going in the wrong tube.
5. The shower curtain is pink, with green accents. But if i use a fingernail and scratch a small part of it, I can reveal a bit of white. Which leads to the fact that I almost feel dirtier after I shower. Surrounded by dead ants on the windowsill on one side, and mildew and mold on the other, taking a shower isn't half as satisfying as taking a shower back at school.
6. 2 Hip-Hop Stations. If you ever dare play Keri Hilson's "Knock You Down" Feat. Kanye West and Ne-yo to me after this summer, I will smack you very hard. I am actually able to get at least 40% of my guesses right of what song could be playing before I turn on the radio every morning. There's a Mix 106.5 here too, but it's no comparison to that of Baltimore's.
7. No refrigerator or freezer space. "Buy anything you want!" I have to move things around in their fridge to put 6 bagels in, let alone any chicken bakes for me to bring to work.
8. My dear friend Mary. She's going to be off to school already by the time I get back to Baltimore. I miss you.
It's a combination of one or more of these things that really prevent me from enjoying California. On the UPSIDE, I do not have to pay rent, I have a car, and I am in California, even if it is Northern California.
The past few months of my life have been largely uneventful, personally. However, I must mention this past week's events for record-keeping's sake:
- Michael Jackson's dead (along with Farrah Fawcett and Billy Mays). I'm going to admit I was not particularly a die-hard fan of Michael Jackson, but he undoubtedly stood out as one of the hallmark artists of this time. As he ruled the pop world, I believe that people like Dr. Dre will probably be remembered just as much when he passes away from the rap world. As for Billy Mays, to our parents he might have not seemed so significant, but kids my age probably remember him most clearly because we grew up watching him on TV: having a booming voice more genuinely enthusiastic than many children's show hosts (Blue's Clues comes to mind first) and that bearded yet clean look. By the time I finally got involved in the house, he was doing a massive infomercial for Oxyclean. Supposedly the first product he advertised was that tube with a pump that allows water to be pumped out from a tank to a bucket. Pretty much awesome how many household products we, or at least my family, uses that stemmed from his advertising.
- My second week at my job, and my first time covering a guy on vacation in Cancun. It was my first time cleaning up 2.2L of water that came spewing out from a 3mm wide tube that popped off after coming back from lunch, with paper towels. This job has really taken advantage of everything Tim taught me while building a computer and stuff I learned by toying around with electronics throughout the years.
- I can be comfortably and markedly bitter to a 3-year-old child.
I can't think of anything else to add to that list at the moment.
Although the above may seem to be endless bitchings, I am still thankful for everything that I've been confronted with. Whether it be ugly children, a small room, or a long day at work, I still have my in n out, no rent, and money earned.
From now until my next xanga entry, take care and don't kill yourself.
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| Why, amidst all the money-spending, lavish living, and fellowship, do I feel ever more frustrated and dumb?
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| I'm getting extraordinarily and inexplicably irritated by the following:
- my camera sensor that needs cleaning. i don't know where to clean it.
- being forced to do the most physically strenuous work RIGHT before going back to school
- being forced to wake up by 10 every morning
- ignorance (which encompasses stubbornness, lack of memory)
- dry weather and cracked skin
- being forced to have my eyebrows waxed and being left with 4 scabs. do people not already realize that i don't really like standing out in public any more than i already do? i guess that ties into ignorance.
- getting hit by shards of a nail after my dad fails to realize its existence, drilling it and shattering pieces while i try to hold the 2x4 for him, and not getting an apology
- guilt trips with no base
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| good sermon! (yesterday)
1. What do I want? humility
2. What do you want?
3. What does He want?
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